January 2010
I made it through the ENTIRE month of January without spilling any coffee on my desk calendar. This was a first for me.
“If moths had eyes, would they be happier, how do they know they’re not dead? Cavemen hunting for food, but not before they style the hair on their head What would last longer in dinosaur times? A blind man didn’t stand a chance, not with all them rocks about, I’d rather be a blind moth.”
- Karl Pilkington
peterwknox:
rendit:
...
Holy Crap!
I had totally forgotten and my co-worker just sent an email to remind me: It’s Taco Tuesday!
Thank you, Jeebus!
Greatest Craigslist Post of All Time →
davidkendall:newsweek:frangry:
“This craigslist ad goes from great to batshitfuckinginsane in 3.5 seconds.” —nedhepburn
Oh, this is priceless…..it takes some time, but you’ve gotta read this thing……unbelievable…..
I wonder if when this guy was done, he thought, “I’ve worded this exactly how I wanted to — now, let the replies start rolling in!”
I feel like this has been the longest short week of all time.
'The Office' clip show episode is the...
danhacker:
Seriously!?! WTF. They come back from hiatus for this nonsense. Not cool.
I just had a discussion yesterday with some co-workers about what a terrible idea clip shows were and how we were glad it was a relic of the past. Unfortunately, not.
1 tag
Earlier I posted that my friend wanted to make a fun Lost invite for her Season Premiere viewing party.
This is the poem we wrote for it:
I know you’ve Ben waiting For the Lost Premiere The wait is finally over; February Second is here! Are you all Jacked up Since the wait is done? Well, come to my place And we’ll have some fun. So please Hurley up, And don’t Walt-z in late, For the party begins...
Lost Viewing Party
My friend is having a Lost viewing party for the Season Premiere and asked for my help in jazzing up the invitations. As I love puns, I gave her a few
Here are directions so you won’t get Lost.
Ben waiting for Lost to come back? I bet you have.
Are you getting Jack-ed up for Lost to come back?
Hurley up, don’t be late.
You don’t need to bring food, I will Kate-r the party.
...
notlikethecheese asked: how long will you be in rome, and what do you have planned?
I was at Starbucks today and the barista asked the lady in front of me how her day was, to which the lady responded, “OK, but I have had better days. My son lost his wallet on the train today.”
I don’t think the barista was ready for an answer other than, “Fine. See you later.” The lady paid, picked up her coffee and said, “I hope someone nice finds the...
“Law school is for generically smart people who lack other marketable...”
– Marin Feldman, Above The Law: Pls Hndle Thx: The $100,000 Question (via boutofcontext)
Hahahaha. I think this is my favorite quote ever.
(via tomorrowonlyknows)
My friend said he was at a bar the other night and was treated to an “impromptu” performance by none other than Vanilla Ice. This got me thinking two things:
Is any performance by Vanilla Ice really “impromptu”? The owner probably said, “Oh, Vanilla Ice, so good to have you here! We’d love for you to sing something, but we don’t have any...
Anonymous asked: Why do you always smell like farts? Is it because you fart a lot, or because you enjoy hanging around other peoples' farts?
True confession(s) Tuesday:
natface:
c-newt:
All the cash in my wallet has to face up in the same direction, and it’s all sorted sequentially. I get really excited when a cashier hands me my change, and all of the bills are already facing the same way. Conversely, if the bills are all jumbled up, I feel really anxious that I have to sort them, then put them in my wallet, THEN grab my stuff, all while people are waiting...
Website Owner: I want my site to be memorable, but I think people are spending too much time on the internet during office hours. How could I reflect my concerns about the diligence of the American workforce on my website?
Website Designer: What if we put a bunch of loud noises on your site and/or used loud advertisements so that everyone around the user would know they were not doing work, but were instead browsing the internet.
Website Owner: Could we also use too many graphics so that the browser sort of freezes and won't close quickly if the user tries to change pages or close it?
Website Designer: But of course.
“Having a beer in the shower makes any day special. You really do feel like the...”
– Drew Magary - Deadspin Open Mailbag
law degrees no longer a golden ticket. →
scenes-from-my-hood:
no kidding.
just another reason i try to discourage all of you young things from going to law school.
i love, love, love working for a small firm where most of these rules don’t apply.
but i am one of the lucky few.
I try to live everyday like it is Taco Tuesday.
Toffee: It is not a combination of tea and coffee, like the name would suggest.
I was just in the office bathroom and someone in one of the stalls had a file in there on the stall floor. Really?
I could understand if you were walking by with the file and it was an emergency and you had to rush in, but this person was just opening it up and skimming the file, with various folders spread out on the floor. You hear me? ON THE FLOOR!
The Killers are a Jack Bauer tribute band.
24 is back this Sunday.
Verisimilitude
Complete Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary definition of verisimilitude:
1 : the quality or state of being verisimilar 2 : something verisimilar
Assholes.
Even Urban Dictionary uses the word in an f-ing sentence when giving it’s definition and it most certainly doesn’t use the word in the definition!
““I am disappointed,” Mr. Leno said. “I feel like a guy who has bought a car from...”
– Jay Leno in 1992. (via)
What a hypocritical asshole.
(via seriouslythough)
(via shorterexcerpts)
1 tag
I got a free sandwich today for being a member of the Morton Williams sub club. More specifically, I bought 7 subs previously and the 8th one, today’s sub, was free.
This has made my day awesome.
soupsoup:
comedycentral:
Ricky Gervais took the stage at press tour (he’s here promoting his new self-titled animated HBO comedy) and hinted that he might do something with the U.S. Office next season. Bottom line? I think there’s a very strong chance that Michael Scott is going to come face-to-face with his British doppelganger, the only question now is when.
Scoop: ‘The Office’ plotting a...
“I’ve always been shocked that people that I’m actually flying with say, ‘Oh, I...”
– Kiefer Sutherland [Parade] (via peterwknox)
Descriptions That Are Accurate For A Used Set of...
Left-handed only
Graphite shaft
Large head
Rarely used
Undersized wood
Probably a little short
A little scratched up
New York mag's cover story about John + Elizabeth... →
vneckandacardigan:
meredithnyc:
I am now 110% ashamed of the fact that I used to be a giant John Edwards fan.
Seconded… also this article is psychopath level insane.
Was never a big Edwards fan, but this is fascinating.
Deadspin - Open Mailbag
“Pete:
So, I’ve used Edge shaving gel or similar products my whole shaving-life. (I’ve never had a satisfactory shave with an electric razor.) The thing is, every single day I put a silver dollar-sized glop of the gel on my hand, it foams up to 5x its size, and I only use about 25 to 50% of the foam that is in my hand. The rest I just dump into the sink. I’ve been doing...
“So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this...”
– Conan O’Brien
Conan O’Brien Says He Won’t Do ‘Tonight Show’ Following Leno - Media Decoder Blog - NYTimes.com
(via skeetonmischa)
(via soupsoup)
Congrats, NBC. You are ruining television. And you, Jay Leno, should be ashamed of yourself. Because we all know this was your idea.
Conan’s statement...