January 2009
walpaper:
Plush Stone Temple Pilots
And I feel,...
Roommate trip to IKEA today. Bam!
No, YOU just put in Raiders of the Lost Ark on at 2:00 a.m. on a Friday night.
My Perfect Girl...
walpaper:
K: I think I found the perfect girl for you. Me: What’s the perfect girl for me? K: Ya know - brown hair, brown eyes, reads books.
Yup. Maybe add a pair of glasses.
What’s with these homies dissin my girl? Why do they gotta front?
It has come to me and my roommate’s attention that “Stinky Leavings” is both the appropriate porn name as well as the Native American name for our dog, Franklin.
Pittsburgh schools on a two-hour delay Monday... →
peterwknox:
(via hellofriend)
I wish the office was doing this. Instead, they are sending emails about how “boring” the game will be without the Giants in it.
Girl arrested for pen-stabbing attempt →
pterodactyls:
up-schist-creek:
Group home staff were on the ball, point her straight to solitary. No inkling as to motive.
Son of a Bic, that must’ve left the victim black and blue.
Are they going to send her to the state pen?
Situations That Sound More Intense Than They...
The blades were spinning faster. He knew the sound they made was a noise he would never forget. He knew that once it hit his fingers, nothing would be left of his hand, but what would look like a mess of roast beef. His hand was moving closer to the blades, when he let go of the strawberries and they plopped into the blender. This was going to be a good smoothie.
Situations That Sound More Intense Than They...
He had little time to decide. He wiped away a bead of sweat that was hanging on his eyebrow. He looked at the bird’s nest of wires connected to the electronic mechanism. Should he pull the red, the white or yellow wire? The clock was ticking. He closed his eyes, said a silent prayer and pulled the yellow wire. The video on the TV went dark.
I am tired, hungover and unshaven. A good way to start the weekend, I say.
Lamp post foils escape attempt →
pterodactyls:
intimationsofimmortality:
Sad but true. Lucky for you there’s a video link in the story as well. Hooray.
from the article: Two prisoners who fled a courthouse handcuffed together foiled their own getaway when they ran around opposite sides of a light pole, slammed into each other and fell to the ground.
The video, while blurry, is a little slice of fried gold.
I can’t...
Ten Reasons to Like the Pittsburgh Steelers →
peterwknox:
(via azspot)
I would like to say I am not going to post anything else about the Steelers until the Super Bowl, but that is a promise I am neither willing nor able to make.
“President Obama made a major endorsement Thursday, announcing his support for...”
– President Obama’s Super Bowl pick
Suck it, Kurt Warner. Go back to bagging groceries now, cause James Harrison is coming for you.
What May End Up Causing The Untimley Demise of My...
Goat: What are you guys watching? "Life on Mars?"
Me: Um, no.
Goat: Ugh, it's Lost, even worse. I hate J.J. Abrams, this show is stupid.
I have a nearly uncontrollable craving for Sour Patch Kids at this precise moment.
I am sure there are a great deal of studies on the motivational effects of music on your performance while you work out. Moreover, I am sure that many people have their own songs that get them pumped up to do things. I think one of the ultimate exercise or work-out songs is the theme from Rocky.
Yesterday, I was walking home from work and the song came on my iPod and I could actually feel a...
sweetsweetcaroline:
“you are the only thing in any room you’re ever in”
— - Elbow…if you don’t know them…you should..
I love Elbow as well — I like “An Audience With The Pope”
I have an audience with the pope And I’m saving the world at 8 But if she says she needs me, she says she needs me Everybody’s gonna have to wait
Upcoming Show Schedule
Kings of Leon - January 29
The Black Keys - February 7
Charlie Hunter - February 18 (maybe)
Patton Oswalt - February 19
Thievery Corporation - Feb 27
That’s some diverse stuff up your face, son!
Sometimes I miss playing drums...
thenewfilosofee:
motionsensorsoundtrack:
I prefer playing guitar, but there is something fun about bangin on drums all night. It’s a full body experience, not just in your head and hands and fingers. At the end of the night you all sweaty, exhausted and the pounding beats lull you into this trance like state. you can’t really even talk immediately after playing drums.
so now they sit in my...
I know that everyone wants Morgan Freeman to narrate their lives, but who does Morgan Freeman want? I am 95.7% certain that he would want someone like Gilbert Gottfried or Hank Azaria doing the Professor Frink voice.
muppetpants:
xoxosweetheart:
Cake- War Pigs
...
A little while ago, I went on a date with this girl to a nice steak restaurant. Because I know that devouring huge slabs of bloody meat impresses girls, I ordered the biggest steak they had. When the waiter asked how I wanted it done, I, in a way not unlike when Austin Powers tells Number Two that “Danger” was his middle name, I turned to my date and, “Raw, of course.” ...
Ambiguous Answers
How is the newly enthroned king? He rules.
How is your new front porch chair? It rocks.
How is your new vaccuum cleaner? It sucks.
How is your new girlfriend? She blows.
I was a bee keeper for the summer before I went to law school. The girl I was dating at the time wanted to come to the apiary and see what exactly I did there. I brought her one day and she wanted to see the tray that has the honeycomb where all the bees congregated.
Bees only sting when they become agitated or defensive, but under the proper care, they are quite harmless. In any case, I pulled...